The Seattle CHAZ/CHOP looks set to come to an inglorious end. Promoted as an example of how communal living could replace the evils of capitalism and lead to a more just society, the CHAZ never quite lived up to it’s billing. Apparently, rebuilding civilization from the ground up is a little more difficult than these dipshits were lead to believe by their college professors.
The garden is certainly one of the more hilarious examples of how cutting edge the CHAZ was. The creators of the CHAZ garden must have gone to the Michael Bloomberg school of farming because it was brilliant. They dumped some (most likely stolen) top soil on top of a plot of grass, inserted some potted plants, and voila, food autonomy! Sadly, the CHAZ garden of Eden was destroyed by some homeless dude before it could feed the masses.
The “summer of love” was turning out to be a Utopian dream of peace and unity with the villainous Seattle PD finally vanquished. And where there wasn’t total harmony, the statesmen of the CHAZ were finding more civilized and sophisticated methods of resolving their differences.
Another quarrel between groups at CHAZ has appeared. The “utopian” status loses its meaning more day by day. pic.twitter.com/nugWWa7FEo
— CHAZ Struggles (@ChazStruggles) June 21, 2020
However, the “block party” the mayor was gushing over only days before seems to have lost some of it’s luster after a spate of violence including beatings, sexual assaults, and a handful of shootings. Somehow, despite responsibly ensuring the CHAZ security force was adequately armed with AR-15 rifles, there was an unfortunate fatality in the zone.
Medics refused to help even after people in the CHOP begged. They let our bro bleed out for 30 minutes till he died. Fuck politics. Fuck your currupt system. pic.twitter.com/PMwxU9yEzd
— Raz Simone (@RazSimone) June 21, 2020
Gotta admit that blaming the police for the ensuing chaos was a level of chutzpah even I didn’t expect. Apparently SPD, which the CHAZ wants to abolish and pelted with bricks, was suddenly responsible for the autonomous zone again… even though armed men were preventing them from securing the crime scene.
Then speak to your political ass police friends who won’t do their job because their PR is so fucked & it’s election year.
— Raz Simone (@RazSimone) June 21, 2020
No longer wanting to remain autonomous and selfishly deprive the country of their monumental talent, the Free Capitol Hill brain trust is offering to rejoin American society. Their list of demands to grace us with their return are a wonder to behold. Surely the eternal truths so eloquently stated by these cretins will find their rightful place in our shared history alongside the words of Jefferson and Lincoln. Yet, alas, they are ahead of their time. For now, the legacy of the CHAZ colonizers will be broken windows, graffiti and filth everywhere, and businesses fleeing the city for good. Seems that playtime is over in the CHAZ. Now the adults are expected to come in and clean up the mess.